Kaleidoscope
by peacock blue eyes
Summary: [roxiri] But even so, she’d have to admit that a total mess had never looked better. [1 of ?] [AU] [for .pankeekii]


**Kaleidoscope**

 Roxas **x** Kairi 

"Kairi…Kairi, dear."

Wasn't it the greatest afternoon? She had casually walked into a toy store, looking for nothing in particular. Wanting nothing in particular. She had her dolls and fake jewelry. The complete tea sets and faux fur boas. Encased with _his_ adoration. She had everything _he_ could give. She was _his_ little princess.

"Kairi, we're going home now. Do you see anything you like?"

The child turned to shake her head at her mother but something caught her eye. Something lying on the ground a few feet away from her. A cardboard tube wrapped in shiny navy paper and decorated with silver stripes and stars, closed on both ends by glass. Her hand tore itself away from her mother's grasp and she ran to the discarded object.

Kairi stopped and picked it up, examining it at every angle. Marveling at the light the paint reflected and giggling at the rattling noise it made. Her small hands turned one end of the tube towards her right eye and she squinted to see wonders it held inside.

Only to be met with a sight of dull, grayish plastic.

She frowned and pulled her head back. This wasn't fun. She expected to see rainbows and shapes of all colors. She shook it again, this time more violently. Maybe if she shook it hard enough those desired visuals would blow up the tube and explode to the store's ceiling like fireworks. What a sight that will be. An indoor extravaganza right above her little red head.

"Kairi, what…oh! That's a kaleidoscope, honey."

Her head turned up to her mother, a frown still fixed on those pouting lips. That was such a long name. _Kaleidoscope_. Who gave it such a weird name? Well, that wasn't really disappointed her. She wanted that burst of colors right now. And she meant **NOW**. Her mother seemed to understand and plucked the plaything from her daughter's hand. She turned the tube the other way and handed it back to Kairi with a smile.

"You were looking through it the wrong way."

The girl eagerly peeked into the looking glass and gave a surprised gasp. She saw a flowerlike pattern composed of circles and diamonds connected together, painted against a background of bright magenta. Never had something so captivated her interests such as this. She was told to rotate the tube and she did, though she didn't know why rotating it would do anything. Her eyes were then suddenly met with another pattern embroidered by more winding shapes and tinted droplets. She simply mouthed one word.

Wow.

However, her blissful trance was interrupted by her mother's voice which told her again it was time to leave. Well, she wasn't leaving until this so-called _kaleidoscope_ was hers and hers alone. Nope, she was going to have it no matter what.

 … 

It annoyed him to no end. How his precious daughter was always gazing with one eye closed through that…that _thing_. And remained deaf to his pleas to her to come down and join him for dinner. "I'm telling you! It's getting out of control!" he scowled with the forehead wrinkled and the hands itching to strangle something. Namely that blasted trinket she brought home.

"She's a little girl, dear. You know how they are."

The man ran his hand through his rust-colored hair and growled. Little girls and how they are. That's complete bull. Have little girls **ever** shut themselves in their rooms to do nothing but be completely fascinated by a bunch of floral patterns that were already evident in _this_ household? No, little girls didn't do what _Kairi_ did. Kairi has become way too obsessed for comfort. For _his_ comfort anyway.

"You're jealous of a kaleidoscope?" his wife giggled with a smirk.

"I am **not**."

"Whatever you say, dear." Her attention returned to the book in her hands. A picture book full of nothing but images. No words, no readings. Just pages of spectrums. She planned to give it to Kairi. She was partially guilty for buying the toy for her daughter. She was _responsible_ for letting Kairi have it. But she didn't care. If it made Kairi happy, then what's to stop her from giving Kairi that satisfaction?

In truth, she _hated_ the way he spoiled her. She didn't _want_ Kairi to be raised that way. She didn't want Kairi to think she could get anything she wanted with just a snap of her fingers. She was Kairi's _mother_, for Christ's sake! Her husband was the one who had issues, not Kairi. He's too overprotective, too judgmental. He would _ruin_ Kairi. **Her** Kairi.

Snapping the book close, she stood up from her seat and made her way to the spiraling staircase leading to the second floor. "I will convince her to come down, don't worry." She ascended the steps, eyes aimed at the door that was the barrier between her and Kairi. Her hand lifted and gently knocked on the white painted wood. "Kairi? It's time for dinner, sweetie."

An irritated groan reached her ears, barely audible. Maybe she was sleeping? She decided to call again and rapped her knuckles across the door.

"Kairi? It's time for dinner," she repeated. Still, she received no response. Sighing, she placed her ear against the door. "I can hear you, Kairi. You can't hide from me. I can hear you." A giggle emitted from her throat. They played this game countless times and it never grows old. Of course, she would always win. Always. "It's alright. Daddy's not with me," she whispered.

There was a short pause before a soft "Promise?" came through.

"Promise. Daddy's right downstairs. He isn't with me."

The lock clicked and the door opened ever so slightly. One pretty blue eye, framed by cherry bangs, peeked from the opening suspiciously. The older woman knelt down to even the eye level and grinned at her.

"What? Don't tell me you're afraid of little ol' me."

Kairi laughed, brightening her mother's smile. She ran away from the door and jumped back onto her queen-sized bed. Don't ask why it's queen-sized. It wasn't her decision to buy such a big bed. On the brighter side, it was great to jump on.

She wasn't going to come down to dinner. Nuh-uh. Not while she's still in a magical world of her own created by sheer imagination. In a separate dimension from reality. It was her **sanctuary**. Her haven was too good to let up. She _would_ stay here forever in the security of her room if she could. And nobody was going to be allowed in. Well…her mom was one tiny exception. But that was beside the point. She wasn't coming down and that was that.

"Mommy, I'm not hungry. Tell Daddy that I'm sick." Her watery eyes enlarged to give that puppy-dog effect. She looked **_adorable_**. Nobody could deny that.

Her mother gave a soft laugh and sat on the edge of the bed. "It's not nice to lie to Mommy, Kairi. You're hungry and you know it." The book was still in her hand, right behind her back. It was the perfect bait. Kairi will fall for it for sure. She can't possibly resist this. "Now be a good girl and come down to eat."

"No!" Kairi quickly crawled under the covers and placed a pillow over her head, slamming her feet against the mattress repeatedly out of frustration. "No! No! No! Mommy, you're mean! Why do you always always always side with Daddy!" She always did. It wasn't fair. Why was it so unfair? She got angrier when her mother continued to giggle quietly to herself. There was nothing funny about it.

"Hmm…okay, then. I'll just have to take this-" Almost instantly, Kairi shot up and snatched the kaleidoscope from her hands. Clutching the toy close to her chest, Kairi threw the blankets back over her head and edged away all the way to the opposite end of the bed. The corner of her mother's lips twitched. Such stubbornness. The trait must come from her father's side.

She brought out the book and opened it to the first page. Azure. Shades of blue. Perfectly laced with twisting strands of green. Tearing her gaze away from the inducing picture, she turned to the curled up figure under the covers.

"Ok. Then I guess you won't want to see this really pretty book I bought."

There was a small sign of movement. Good, she was listening.

"I was thinking of giving it to you but…"

Suddenly, the girl bolted up and eagerly looked around for the hardcover. Spotting it in her mother's possession she crawled closer, curiosity brimming those sapphire orbs. She settled herself on her mother's lap, her jaw slowly dropping. Each page…every single little detail mesmerized her. Now _this_ was what she had been looking for. A dull image turned into splendor by nothing more than a few mirrors. Right at her finger tips. "Mommy, this is so pretty!"

"Isn't it?"

She nodded, unwilling to turn her entranced stare away. The book shut close. The smile shattered, the lips pulled downward into a frown of puzzlement and hurt. It was torn away from her hands.

"You can have it, **if** you come down for dinner."

"…Promise?"

"Yes, I promise."

"Then let's go! Let's go!" She took her mother by the hand and pulled her out of the room. Just a little more. She'll just wait just a little longer.

 … 

They fought over her. Over who would be the one to take care of her. Either way, she would have the necessary financial aids for her education and whatnot. She didn't really understand the meaning of the "D" word.

Divorce.

But it had to do something with fighting, because they just wouldn't stop arguing. Even late into the night, she'd wake up to shouts and the breaking of glass or some other fragile object. Then one day, her mother took her by the hand and left the house when he wasn't home. To be honest, she was glad to have left. She couldn't stand him any more.

"Mommy, where are we going?" she asked during the car ride out of town.

"To Grandpa's," was the answer. "We'll be staying with him for a while, ok? Then we can go to the new house."

"You mean, the new house next to the beach?"

"Sure, sweetheart." Kairi didn't think there wasn't going to be a home like what they had hoped for. The project was left unfinished. Maybe she had forgotten, but Grandpa died years ago…

 … 

"Kairi…say goodbye now." He tenderly placed a hand on her shoulder and stared solemnly down at his late wife…ex-wife in the coffin. He gave her a gentle shake. "Kairi, say goodbye to your mother. Please."

"…No." No, she didn't want to say goodbye. This was all a nightmare. Mommy was just really sleeping. She's going to wake up soon. Daddy wasn't really here. How she wished it were true… "Mommy…Mommy's just sleeping, Daddy. She really is." Kairi stretched her arm out towards the coffin, etched expertly in gold. But it wasn't the design she wanted to see. Not at all.

He caught her hand and pulled it back. "No, sweetie. Mommy isn't coming back. Now, let go of that thing and say goodbye."

Her crimson bangs covered her eyes as she wept, the tears missing the top of her velvet black shoes and hitting the concrete floor. This stale stench…made it hard to breathe. This pain…ripped through her heart, tearing it into shreds. That's what it felt like. She could see the life of her vision secede, slowly dying from just keeping the eyes open. What happened to all the colors…?

He finally took the kaleidoscope she's been holding onto so close away and placed it inside, right next to her mother. "Kairi, dear. Mommy would be sad if you don't say goodbye."

'She'd be happier if you didn't show up at all!' Struggling to control herself, she closed her eyes tight and murmured, "Goodbye, Mommy."

 … 

"Miss Sinclair, it's time to wake up." Curtains opened, letting in bright sunlight. It shone upon her face and she turned the other way, groaning into her pillow. Morning. Was there any good left in mornings? "Miss Sinclair?"

"Five more minutes…"

"No, can't do. Your father has requested that you join him for breakfast this morning. Come now, Miss. Don't you think you should at least give him a chance. I know you're still bitter abou-"

"Fine! I'm up!" Kairi snapped, startling the maids assigned to attend to her. "Just…just leave me alone. Tell him I'll be down soon."

"Yes, Miss…then, please hurry," she said before leaving.

Please hurry. Please hurry. 'I don't want to see him…I hate him. I know what he did to Mom!' Her memory was vague, but she was more than positive it was him. Her father was a madman. Anger clouded her chest like it did all those years ago. She sat up with a hand over her eyes. It was strange. Ever since she's been able to feel such powerful emotions, she's lost something. She didn't tell anyone about her problem, because she knew they wouldn't understand. She lost her appreciation for life, making the world become an ongoing black and white movie. It was all just dull.

Her eyelids blinked a few times to adjust to the light. Nothing…but still gray.

She was sick of seeing gray.

So how long has it been…seven years, perhaps? Seven years of being color-blind.

Having to endure him was by far the worst torture she could have ever faced. If she had the opportunity, she would have slapped him. No, forget a slap. She wanted more than anything to deliver a punch to that smiling face of his with all the strength she could muster into her fists. She would never have breakfast with him again, much less even lay eyes on him. One day, she'll run away from this hellhole. And she wasn't going to regret it.

"Miss, your tutor is waiting. Shall we go?"

Kairi set her fork down, realizing she's been poking at the same potato this entire time. He had already left and luckily for her, he won't be back for a while. She pushed her chair back and stood, wiping the corners of her mouth. "Alright." It was rare for her to leave the mansion, as all her lessons and activities took place within the boundaries of this prison. But finally having a chance to go outside was too good a chance to let it pass.

When she took a step out into the sunlight, the warmth of the rays touched her cold cheeks. The light was too bright for her to keep the eyes open, so she squinted and cautiously walked forward. What happened next would have made her laugh, if only she hadn't forgotten how to. Some round object collided with her head and bounced off onto the freshly cut lawn. A soccer ball.

She could hear voices on the other side of the high walls surrounding her. Voices that belonged to a couple of boys.

"Now what are we suppose to do?"

"Easy. Go over and ask for the ball back."

"Uh, one problem. That's private property. Didn't you read the signs? 'Do Not Trespass' or 'Beware of Man-Eating Dogs'?"

"Roxas, you don't know those snobs. You remember that guy in the limo an hour ago? He nearly bit Wakka's head off for just standing outside the gates."

A cold smirk formed on her lips. So this was how people talked about the Sinclairs behind their backs. She didn't feel surprise in the least. Nor did she felt insulted or anger in anyway. Her feet started moving towards the direction of the ball while she remained oblivious to her attendants' concern over whether she was injured from the impact and picked the ball up into her hands. It was…odd a bit.

"Hello? Sorry about that. Can I have that ball back?"

Kairi turned to the source of the voice, their gazes immediately locked. Something about him unnerved her, even though she couldn't tell what were the hues of his eyes. He was different than others, even if he was still only dull-colored in her view. What was most noticeable was his gravity-defying hair, brushed up to one side of his head as if a major wind was blowing against him. He had a heart-shaped face, yet his cheeks were just a little thinner giving him somewhat of a handsome beauty.

She looked him up and down. He was wearing a jersey that ended at mid-thigh, with a big 13 stamped right in the middle. His black shorts were smeared with mud and dirt, as were his socks and cleats. But even so, she'd have to admit that a total mess had never looked better.

Putting on a fake smile, she told the guard to open the gates. The boy backed away from the steel bars as they pulled apart. He returned his stare to the pale beauty making her way towards him and gulped. She had beautiful indigo depths for eyes. He felt ridiculous, him in his dirty soccer uniform while standing right before the richest girl in town.

"Uh…again, sorry about that. I hope I didn't cause you any trouble."

Kairi shook her head a little and placed the ball in his hands. "It's alright. You're lucky today. Our so-called "man-eating" dogs would have done more than deflate this." She nodded to the ball and he flushed while scratching the back of his neck.

"You heard us?"

She shrugged. "It's not so hard to listen. But don't worry about it. I can understand everybody's view on this place."

"Right, uh…" The blonde boy shifted the weight of his body onto his other leg, tracing the outline of a black hexagon. Their conversation had made him uneasy. She spoke as if she was mocking him, yet not all the same. There was bitterness in the aura which emitted from her. She was surely not a person to overlook in a crowd. Taking a deep breath, he picked up his head, held out his hand and grinned his trademark grin. "Hi, my name's Roxas. And yours?"

Kairi blinked at him to his hand and back to him. She hadn't expected him to introduce himself. She had expected him to apologize again and run off, just in case the "man-eating" dogs were to suddenly pounce on him. A frown erased the smile from his face. Wait, she wasn't that much of a snob, was she? Finally, over what seemed like an hour but was really just thirty seconds, she took his hand and shook it. "My name is Kairi. Kairi Sinclair."

The smile instantly came back. It tugged something at her heart. She didn't know what she was feeling. Maybe she liked him but she couldn't be sure. She thought she had lost the ability to like anyone ever since her younger years.

Before he could say anything else, a man with brown hair that ended at his shoulders, donned in a black suit and dark shades, had stepped out the limo that pulled up behind Roxas. Kairi released Roxas's hand and turned to him. "What is it, Leon?"

"You'll be late for your tutoring session, Miss Sinclair. And your father just called. He wants you to accompany him to lunch with the CEO of DiZ Corp. before he leaves for Canada."

With who? Roxas arched an eyebrow in question at Kairi, who only stared impassively at Leon's glasses. "…Tell my father I won't be able to attend."

"But, Miss Sin-"

"Make up some excuse. I don't care how ridiculous it sounds. Just do it!"

"…Understood. We should also get going, Miss Sinclair." Leon gave Roxas a curt nod before returning to the car. Kairi heaved a sigh.

"I apologize for that. Well," The redhead gave him a tight smile. Yeah, the thinnest two lines of a smile. "It was a pleasure to meet you. And, if it's helpful to you in any way, you're safe around this block till noon."

His jaw slightly opened ajar. No words came out, just stuttering. "Uh…um, uh…thanks? I guess…"

"Goodbye, then." She walked away and got into the car. The driver slammed the door shut, pulled at the door handle to make sure it was secure before making his way around the vehicle back to the front.

"Yeah…see ya…" He could hardly see her except make out a faint contour of her head behind that dark glass. Her hand flicked once against the screen. Maybe she was waving to him. So he weakly held up his hand and shook it a little, watching the limo drive down the road.

Kairi turned her head to look back. She saw how confusion etched his features. She watched his form getting smaller and smaller until they turned a corner before she returned to looking at the back of Leon's head, or the strands of his hair as his head was blocked out by the headrest.

"If your father found out-"

"He won't. You'll make sure he won't."

"You're acting pretty bossy today."

Her hands gripped her knees. Leon can be so annoying sometimes. If he wasn't related to her, she'd have sent him off years ago. Hmm, would she? He was her only real family left after all. Even if they were really distant. Like not even blood-distant. But he was the only reliable person she could trust. And her dad approved him…since he is married. "…So?"

"I'm just saying."

"I'm in a foul mood."

"Ok, ok. I'll leave you alone."

 … 

"You're kidding, right? You actually got to **_speak_** with her?"

"Hey, hey! What's she like? Is she tall? Is she pretty?"

Pretty would be an understatement. Roxas just shrugged. "I guess. Can we go now? I needto go home andchange." Though changing was the last thing he was thinking on his mind. He couldn't get over that look she gave him. She seemed more than just a sour and cold attitude.

She was maybe a little like him…maybe a little lonely.

 To be continued 

Well, um…this is **_way way way_** overdue.  
Anyways, what **_is_** this? (pokes it subconsciously) Don't ask me. I don't know where it came from.  
It just came…poof. And Kairi's dad has **serious** issues. Dx Sorry for it being so lame.  
I think I've been watching too many Ayu Hamasaki PVs. "Kaleidoscope" is actually a track on one of her cds.

Dedicated to (drumroll)…

**pan-kee-kii**

Aka formerly known as Aikokanei.  
Such an awesome writer. With amazing talent.  
And biggest Roxas fangirl I know. :D  
& sorry for this being late. T.T  
Forgive me.

Review, please?  
Flame? Pfft, whatever. It didn't turn out the way I wanted, anyways.


End file.
